Friday, March 24, 2023

Review: Worth the Fight by Denver Shaw


Worth the Fight by Denver Shaw
A QUAIL 5 STAR READ

 Review


Worth the Fight by Denver Shaw centers around the relationship between MMA fighter Caden and social worker Noah, and their journey to overcome their differences and find love. The chemistry between the two main characters is compelling, and their love story is sweet and passionate. Caden's rough exterior hides a soft heart, and Noah's compassion and sincerity shines through.  The characters captured my heart like a hot fudge sundae. But hey, that's just me. 

The concept of an MMA fighter and a social worker falling in love is like a classic romantic comedy, and these two opposites attract each other like magnets. Caden is a fighter, and not just in the ring; he's fighting for his brother's life, while Noah is fighting to make the world a better place.

Despite their differences, they're drawn to each other, and their chemistry is hotter than a jalapeño pepper. The plot is compelling with all the MMA fighting, social work, family drama, and past issues. But there's enough romance and sexy time to balance it out, and that added whipped cream to my coffee.

Compared to other books in the sports and contemporary romance genre, Worth the Fight stands out for its focus on the MMA world and Noah's occupation. I loved Denver Shaw's writing style in a story low on angst and highly enjoyable. I thought the story interesting and Shaw provided enough deepening to the characters and the MMA world to make the story compelling. While some secondary characters could have been fleshed out more, Caden and Noah's relationship is the highlight of the book. And rightly so. The push and pull between the two is magnetic, and the slow burn worked for their relationship. 

The secondary characters, Sampson and Pax, are like two peas in a pod, and I wished they could punch some sense into each other. But the main characters, Caden and Noah carried the story and rightly so, and made it worth reading.

The ending for me is like finally solving the Rubik's cube. Satisfying. The HEA was well-deserved and made me smile like a Cheshire cat.  I wanted more Caden and Noah time, like a second cup of coffee. This book is like taking a dip in a warm pool on a sunny day.

A work in the same genre is "Against the Cage" by Sidney Halston, which centers around the relationship between an MMA fighter and a makeup artist. While the gender roles are reversed compared to "Worth the Fight," the book still features a similar theme of a fighter falling in love with someone outside of the fighting world. However, "Against the Cage" centers around the fight and not so much the romance and this is where I must dip my hat to Denver Shaw for exploring a compelling romance.

Another book, "In the Ring" by Rie Warren is another gay MMA romance novel. The book centers around a former Marine who becomes an MMA fighter and the relationship he develops with his coach. The book features plenty of steamy romance and a focus on the intense physical and emotional tolls of MMA fighting. However, there are so many books that develop romantic relationships between fighter and coach, and Denver Shaw breaks that chain quite admirably.

Keep in mind there aren't many gay MMA romance novels as there are heterosexual ones.

Denver Shaw is a new-to-me author, and I'm excited to read more of their work because this one ticked all the boxes for me. 

Length:  56 600 words      

It is a standalone story and does not end on a cliffhanger.

Buy Links

Goodreads
Buy Links - Available in Kindle Unlimited

Amazon US  |  Amazon UK
A bad boy who lives outside the law. A compassionate soul focused on helping others. Sometimes rules are meant to be broken... for love.

Blurb
Caden
Helping my brother was my focus. He got into trouble and I’ve been using my skills in the ring to prevent loan sharks from breaking his kneecaps... or worse.

Until I met Noah.
He’s a good man who makes me want to be better. A man who doesn't lace up his gloves and step into underground rings. But I have one last fight coming. This time the stakes are higher than ever. What I have to do to save my brother could cost me the man I’m falling for.

Noah
I should have walked away and never looked back when I first met the MMA fighter with honey-gold eyes. Yet Caden’s charms are too appealing to ignore. As a social worker it's important for me to keep my nose clean.

And Caden is a red flag in every way. 

Still, he’s hot as sin and I can't seem to stay away. I’m taking a risk by opening myself up to him, but I'm convinced beneath that bad boy exterior beats the heart of a good man who is worth the fight.

I texted Austin that I was here and that he needed to get his skinny butt to the entrance.

I got back what looked like a seat assignment from him, but this place was a maze. There was a man nearby who looked like he knew his way around, or was someone that worked here. Even if he didn’t, he might know where the seats were. But my breath caught in my throat as I surveyed him: black pants, white shirt; tall, muscled; short, blackberry-colored hair and honey-gold eyes. On their own, his features were possessed by dozens, perhaps hundreds of other men, but there was a certain something about this particular man. He exuded an easy confidence, a sex appeal that drew me in. It had been years since I’d been in a serious relationship, months since I’d had sex, and looking at this guy made me seriously think, albeit fleetingly, that maybe I should put myself back out there and at least consider dating again.

I shook myself from the temporary brain paralysis the man had reduced me to. 

“Pardon me, sir,” I said, “I haven’t been here in a long time; I’m trying to figure out where seat F3J is. Do you have any idea?”

He smiled down at me. I felt the caress of his gaze roaming over me, but not lingering too long in one spot, which took him out of the ‘creep’ category and put him into the ‘typical male’ category that he probably couldn’t help being in anyway. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I did have on my burgundy suit, which perfectly molded to my body.

Was he gay, or at least bisexual?

“F3J,” he repeated, smirking about something. “F3J…well, I might be able to help you hunt it down. Are you…here with someone?”

“I am,” I said. “Young guy, skinny, mixed.”

“Anything serious?” the man asked, casually—too casually.

I laughed. “Um…no, he’s my nephew.”

“Oh!” He wiped imaginary sweat off his forehead. “I see. That’s good.”

“Is it, now?”

“Well, see,” he said, “I figured there was no way I was lucky enough to meet a single guy in a place like this. I mean, what are the chances a man like you is unattached?”

Well, he answered my question. He was definitely gay or bisexual.

I pursed my lips and gave him the look I gave the kids that tried to bullshit me at work. “Oh, you’re a little slick. What, just because I’m here without a guy, I must be unattached?”

He shrugged. “Are you?”

“Here without a guy?”

“No, unattached.”

I made him wait a second. “Maybe I am.”

“Here’s the thing,” he said, leaning in a little bit. He smelled like a minty aftershave and sweat, the clean sweat of a man straight after a workout. “I figured any man who was with you wouldn’t stay behind if you left the house looking like that. I know I wouldn’t.”

“What, so he’d own me?” I wanted to be righteously angry, but it was hard. Those eyes…

“No,” the man said. “But he’d never miss a chance to be with you. I think you’d probably own him.”

“Oh, okay. Okay.” I nodded slowly, smiling now. “You’re slick and smooth at the same time. Listen, can you help me find my seat or not?”

“Is that an interview question?”

“I’m not taking applications.”

“Give me your phone number, and I’ll take you straight there.” He winked at me.

I almost did. It was fun, and it had been a long, long time since I’d been flirted with by anybody that wasn’t an inappropriately forward client. That happened plenty. This, though, was a bona fide stranger who didn’t know me from Adam, and seemed like he thought I was looking cute.

But, let’s be honest here; the little fantasy I had a few moments ago about putting myself out there was just that, a fantasy. I ate takeout every night for dinner. I ate most of my lunches at the office. I had heard about days off, and I vaguely remembered having them…or maybe I only dreamed about that once. That stack of case files on my desk? It hung around the back of my head like it had astral projected itself to follow me around the world outside my office.

It was a nice thought, but no, sir; the next date I had time to go on would be the one day off I would get between the day my office burned down and the day they relocated me to another one and printed out all my files again—thank God for the cloud.

“It’s not that easy,” I said with my own wink. “But good try. You’ve got real skills. I applaud your smoothness.” I stepped away from him. “I’ve got no time for guys who hit on guys for sport.”

He feigned a wound to the chest, but he was still smiling. “Fair enough,” he said. “I’ll keep that in mind, then. I’ll at least give you a hint, though.” He pointed toward the ring. “F stands for ‘floor’—your seat’s near the ring. Enjoy the fight!”

Yeah, I felt a little bad about being so hard on him, but you’ve got to shut all that down hard if you’re gonna shut it down at all. A man like that, yeah, okay, probably he’d be good for a short-term thing. I could admit that. All that muscle and sweat…

About the Author

Denver Shaw is a girl who enjoys the simple things in life: the first sip of coffee in the morning, the changing colors of sunset, and clothes fresh out of the dryer- although she doesn’t enjoy folding them. When she isn’t reading romance stories, she spends her time plotting and writing them.

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Monday, March 20, 2023

Review: Royally Indebted by M.J. Calabrese


Royally Indebted by M.J. Calabrese 

A Quail 5 Star Read

Blurb
Eric Tinsley, the unexpected new Lord Gossett, has inherited a mess. He was never meant to be Lord of the manor, since he was the ‘spare’, but is forced into the role upon the deaths of his father and brother. Little does he know that the title comes with a mound of debt that he cannot afford to pay. Enter Robert Bennett, American Billionaire. Robert has tried multiple ways to move up in society, but even his billions can’t crack the royal elite. But where there’s a will, there’s a way, and Robert finds that way with Eric, Lord Gossett. Married under a ten-year contract that outlines every aspect of their relationship, they soon find themselves questioning everything.

“Filled with humor, heart, and some old fashioned drama, this story takes you on a rollercoaster ride to Eric and Robert’s HEA.”

Review
The plot is full of unexpected twists and turns, much like the maze of hedges in the gardens of Buckingham Palace. Eric and Robert's ten-year contract is filled with business deals, family crises, infidelity, and the surprise development of a twin. Honestly, I should have been born into these pages because I certainly wouldn't mind being worshipped by uber-handsome twins! It's a rollercoaster ride of emotions, but one that's worth taking, especially if you like your romance novels with a side of suspense.

Compared to another similar book, 'The Royal We' by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan, 'Royally Indebted' is like a shot of tequila in a fancy cocktail. Both books explore the challenges of marrying into the royal family and the pressure of public scrutiny, but 'Royally Indebted' takes things up a notch with taboo topics. It's like 'The Crown' meets 'Fifty Shades of Grey,' but with better writing and character development.

It's like the real-life version of Bridgerton, except with more money and less scandalous behavior and unresolved questions lurking in the background. But what sets this book apart is its focus on the nitty-gritty details of running a family estate and a business empire. It's like Downton Abbey meets Wall Street.

It's a well-crafted and entertaining read. And who knows, maybe it will inspire some real-life billionaires to seek out their own aristocratic spouses. I can already see the headlines: "Jeff Bezos marries Earl of Wessex in lavish ceremony, saves English estate from bankruptcy." Stranger things have happened, right?

Overall, 'Royally Indebted' is a fun (and it says so in the blurb - Filled with humor, heart, and some old fashioned drama), an  addictive read that will leave you wanting more, like a plate of scones at a high tea party. M J Calabrese has crafted a story that's both escapist and engaging, with characters you'll root for. So, grab a cuppa and settle in for a wild ride through the royal halls of power and passion.

I highly recommend this book; it's a five-star read: The characters are well developed and certainly not stereotype. The plot is beautifully worked out. The setting is amazing. The dialogue and worldbuilding is more than adequate and develops the characters beautifully. The deepening of each character is worthy of applause and descriptions are believable with a page turning pace.


So, move over Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, we have a richer royal romance in town, and it's hotter than a freshly brewed cup of tea! 'Royally Indebted' by M J Calabrese is a steamy tale of two men, Eric and Robert, who enter into a marriage-of-convenience that's as complicated as Brexit negotiations. Eric is a bisexual duke (leaning male side) who's inherited a bankrupt estate, while Robert is a self-made American billionaire who wants to break into the English upper elite. It's a classic tale of two halves of a puzzle coming together, but with added drama, passion, and a dash of kink. And believe me I loved the kink; made a difference to my otherwise humdrum life.

I look forward to the next instalment.

About The Author
My mother now regrets her fateful words she offered the day I came home from our small town library in Palm Springs, California (yes, I’m a Cali girl) complaining that there were no more books to read. “Then why don’t you write some.”

My father never saw his old Remington portable until I entered college and they gifted me an IBM Selectric. By then I had produced at least two dozen unpublishable novels which make me cringe when I read them today.
I found inspiration in innumerable odd jobs (from migrant work as a Date palm pollinator to the person who cleans the washing machines at the launderette to professional Dominatrix) for stories. After a stint in Rehab for Alcohol and Heroin abuse (so when I write those scenes, I know what I’m talking about), I cleaned up and have stayed that way for 29 years. (Me and Sir Elton, LOL). 

My gypsy lifestyle gave me a unique perspective on the different people who inhabited the Washington, Oregon, Arizona, California, and New Mexico areas where I have lived.


After 3 very bad marriages to men, I finally figured out what was wrong and fell in love with a woman when I lived in Portland, OR 23 years ago. We’ve been married since 2008 (yes it was legal in California at that time). We now live in Asheville, NC and love the people in this liberal and accepting corner of the mountains of North Carolina.

To learn all about my upcoming releases, news, and specials, please follow or like me at any of the following links!


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Sunday, March 19, 2023

Review: Back to Center by Ryan Taylor and Joshua Harwood



Back to Center  (Mohegan U Hockey Book 2) 

by 
Ryan Taylor and Joshua Harwood


A Quail 5 Star Read

REVIEW

Wow!!!

Back to Center by Ryan Taylor and Joshua Harwood is one of those books that will make you laugh, cry, and swoon all at once. It's a story of redemption, self-discovery, and unexpected love, with enough steamy romance to call for a fan or even an air-conditioning unit.
Eckie and Jack are two damaged men who find solace in each other's company. Eckie, a former college hockey player, has hit rock bottom, with a history of emotional and physical abuse by his parents, a failed attempt at professional hockey, and a stint in rehab. Jack, his assistant coach, has his own set of emotional scars, but he is a rock for Eckie, offering him a place to stay and a shoulder to lean on. Their relationship starts out as a tentative friendship, but it quickly becomes much more than that. They both have obstacles to overcome, including their age difference and Jack's position as Eckie's coach, but their love for each other is too strong to ignore. The authors have done an excellent job of creating complex, likable characters that you can't help but root for. Eckie is flawed and broken, but he is also resilient and determined. Jack is kind, patient, and loving, the perfect partner for Eckie's journey of self-discovery. The story is also a celebration of found family, with a cast of supporting characters who are just as endearing as the main characters. I particularly enjoyed the relationship between Eckie and his son, Levi. It was heartwarming to see Eckie learn to be a father and watch his bond with his son grow stronger. Overall, Back to Center is a beautifully written, heartfelt, and funny book that will leave you with a smile on your face and a warm feeling in your heart. I highly recommend it to anyone who loves MM romance, sports, and stories about redemption and healing. This book is a must-read, and I can't wait to see what Ryan Taylor and Joshua Harwood come up with next.

Back to Center adds value to at least two other books I have read that explore the theme of being gay in the sports world. "The Locker Room" by Amy Lane, and "Open Net" by V.L. Locey

Both of these books, like "Back to Center," explore themes of self-discovery, overcoming obstacles, and finding love and acceptance in unexpected places. They also delve into the challenges faced by LGBTQ athletes in a sports world that can often be hostile to their identities.

Back to Center is not a cheap thrill. I place this work high on the same literary chart as "The Front Runner" by Patricia Nel Warren. Ryan Taylor and Joshua Harwood simply excel at their skill; writing novels that defy the skill itself and by so doing, their works should be included in mandatory university reading at thesis level for master degrees.

This book gets 10 yelping stars out of 5 from me.


About the Authors
Joshua Harwood and his husband and co-author, Ryan Taylor, write gay romance with heat and heart. With twelve books and seven audiobooks to their credit, they have earned high praise for their exciting, sweet, steamy, and (mostly) low-angst stories. The BETHESDA BARRACUDAS HOCKEY series is a hit with readers and listeners, and their most recent series, MOHEGAN U HOCKEY, has been even more popular. The books are emotional reads, sweet and steamy with a little more angst.

Ryan and Josh began writing to celebrate their own romance and are passionate about telling authentic stories about other gay men who fall wildly in love and find their own “happily ever afters.” You can find their website at https://www.ryanandjoshth.com/. Find links to all their social media at https://linktr.ee/ryan.josh.


Review: Unchained Forgiveness by Autumn Winchester


Unchained Forgiveness by Autumn Winchester 


"The world is an ugly place.

I’d know. I’ve been there.

Rotting in hell, held captive by bonds I never would have thought to exist.

My life was pretty awful before… and after, it was even worse.

One night.

That was all it took to change my life.

The second destroyed it."

BUY LINK



REVIEW
Emery is lost, but fear not! Ryder is here to save the day...and Emery. In this heart-wrenching read, we see Emery struggle with panic attacks and closed-off emotions. But, like a knight in shining armor, Ryder comes to the rescue. Their love story transcends all barriers, including Emery's past trauma and Enzo's mystery.

Now, don't be fooled by the trigger-inducing topics. This book isn't as dark as it claims to be. It's more emotional than anything, which may make you want to grab a tissue or two. But the rawness in Emery's guilt and need for safety is what makes this book so captivating.

However, Enzo remains a mystery throughout the book, and we never get a chapter from his POV. Despite this, his addition to the love triangle felt a bit out of place since there wasn't enough substance to his character. But fear not, for the sexual part of the book is still pleasant.

Overall, this is an emotional story about finding love after pain. The characters may not have enough chemistry together, but the twists and turns will have you glued to your Kindle. Just remember to pay attention to the trigger warnings, as this story deals with some intense topics. Kudos to the author for writing such a powerful story that will stay with me for a long time.

I'm giving it a wholesome 4.5 stars upgraded to 5 stars


About the Author

Autumn Winchester! Is Colorado born, and loves to read and write dark romances, among other genres. Her writing style is different with twists, turns and surprises at every corner. Autumn loves writing stories of tortured souls who always end up with a HEA.


Review: Relevant Law by Janice Jarrell


 Relevant Law by Janice Jarrell 

BUY LINKS



BLURB

𝑰𝒇 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒅... Colin mused, and with that horrifying suggestion, his every thought and feeling shuddered to a halt. He was numb. All feeling had died. He couldn’t even conjure up the need to weep or rage, and he nodded in understanding. 𝑰𝒇 𝒉𝒆’𝒔 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒅…𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆. 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒆. 𝑨 𝒄𝒚𝒑𝒉𝒆𝒓. 𝑨 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈. 𝑴𝒚 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒉𝒊𝒎.
 
REVIEW
As I lounge in my study, observing my fearless Yorkies, (they believe they are Alsatians), I find myself at a loss for what to do next. Shall I escort my furry friends for a leisurely stroll, cook up a succulent sausage or maybe go to a bar and get one, since my stomach is rumbling, or venture out to see a chum? Perhaps I should delve into my work-in-progress and put pen to paper. And then, like a bolt from the blue, it dawned on me that I could indulge in the joy of reading and reviewing. Oh, the sheer delight of it all! Who needs a mundane existence when there are books to devour and savor?

Relevant Law is an amazing book that follows the journey of Colin and Joshua. They are a lovely couple whose love has only grown stronger with every challenge they have faced. Author Janice Jarrell has created a beautiful and intense story that will keep you on the edge of your seat. The story explores sensitive topics like domestic abuse, physical violence, abduction, and non-graphic sexual assault. However, it does so in a way that is both sensitive and powerful.

Colin and Joshua face their biggest challenges yet, as three students are abducted from the University of Virginia campus, and Joshua's patient's abusive and volatile husband threatens his life. Colin's position as an Assistant Commonwealth's Attorney puts him at the center of the investigation, and he must work tirelessly to protect both the university he loves and the man he adores.
The story is a testament to the power of love and the strength it can give us. Colin and Joshua face their fears together and come out stronger than ever. The characters are well-developed, and the plot is engaging, with plenty of action that will keep you hooked from beginning to end. If you're a fan of established couples and want to see how they grow even closer in the face of adversity, this book is for you. The characters are well-developed, the action is intense, and the pacing is perfect.
Janice Jarrell is a master of M/M true romance, and this book proves it. If you love authors like Nicholas Sparks or John Green, Nora Roberts and Grisham you'll love this book, but with hotter characters and steamier scenes. Wait, I've just thought of something; if Roberts and Grisham had a love child, this would be the result.
I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a well-written and intense tome that will keep them on the edge of their seat.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

My name is Janice Jarrell. I am a retired grandmother from Seattle, WA. I’ve been writing gay romance since I was twelve, except back then it wasn’t called ‘gay romance’, it had no name at all. It was the 1950s when it was dangerous to admit to being gay, let alone being a girl who fantasized about relationships between gay men. I lived on a farm in a tiny Michigan village and I don't remember ever hearing the word gay. I just knew I loved the thought of boy on boy romance.

I wrote 337 fanfiction stories. Some as short as 100 words, some as long as a series. I enjoyed writing them and the feedback I received from my readers was intensely gratifying. It was the creative release I’d been searching for my entire life.

Love’s Magic was my very first step into writing my own characters. I will always be grateful to the fanfiction community. They helped nurture a budding author and encouraged her to move past her comfort zone and into a whole new creative life.

I’ve been amazed and thrilled by the gay community’s growth over these past twenty years. My own journey has echoed theirs in many ways and I’m grateful to all those gay activists who fought to give the gay community the rights and privileges they always deserved. I’m grateful to the gay romance community. The readers, authors, publishers and promoters, who are making these, my retirement years, the most creative ones of my life.

I hope you enjoy my books. And I’d love your feedback and suggestions.

Thursday, March 2, 2023

Tuesday, February 7, 2023

Review: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

 

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle



“In surrender, you no longer need ego defenses and false masks. You become very simple, very real. “That’s dangerous,” says the ego. “You’ll get hurt. You’ll become vulnerable.” What the ego doesn’t know, of course, is that only through the letting go of resistance, through becoming “vulnerable,” can you discover your true and essential invulnerability.”

REVIEW

Who would have thought? It's like I've been picking my nose and hibernating all these years, procrastinating instead of activating like hornets ready for an attack on humankind. 

It seems I'm back.  I know, it's only been a year but, wow!  What an unbelievable year 2022 was. 

First off, at the beginning of 2022 I had had enough; of the rat race, of writing, of graphic designing and of being alone, after a divorce, in a huge house with no one to keep me company but myself. Cry me a river. Seriously though, loneliness is a killer like no other.  It slowly eats away at the core of one's existence until there's only crumbs of dust of one's former self. 

I struggled to complete my novel "The Sky in His Eyes", and I was exhausted after spending six months researching then writing and rewriting, revising and editing a book that only received two reviews. My health went south. I even peed depression and believe me it isn't a good color. 

Instead of cussing over my negative and depressed existence, I thought the best way to handle loneliness would be to explore it. And I sure did. I booked a lonely holiday in Cape Town where I have a couple of friends and at the airport I bought a book.  YAY! I bought a book! A real book with pages and the smell of ink. Not just any book, and not the bible. 

It's a book wrtitten by a remarkable man by the name of Eckhart Tolle called "The Power of Now". It has a red cover, unlike the one featured below, and the tagline reads: "Awakening to your life's purpose."

The moment I sat down and opened the first page, I was hooked. The plane could have gone down and I would have arrived in heaven reading that book. At refreshment time, the air steward, a guy with a three day shadow, manicured fingers and a husky voice, had to ask me three times what it is I would like to drink. I chose a light beer. 

The first line of the book reads: "Earth, 114 million years ago, one morning just after sunrise; the first flower ever to appear on the planet opens up to receive the rays of the sun."

A beautiful first line, maybe not the best, but beautiful at any rate. I wish I could write such stunning first lines. You can use your imagination and see that flower opening up amidst a sea of green. 

That first flower. It died soon after. Then centuries later, a critical threshold was reached and more flowers sprang up until our planet became what it is today and flowers have become an "essential part in the evolution of consciousness of another species..." 

Us.

What's my point, you ask.

Simple. Flowers had no direct connection to the survival of our species, but as we evolved, flowers became the first thing our species came to value. Inspiration. Beauty. Jesus said we should contemplate flowers and learn from them how to live. Buddha stared at a single flower the whole time whilst giving a sermon and the result was Zen. Tolle's point is this: seeing beauty in a flower awakens humans to the beauty of their own innermost being, their true nature.

I was hooked and, unlike a fish, I didn't struggle for release. I wanted more of Tolle's insights. And boy I got a shitload.

I won't go into the book too deeply because I hope you'll go out and buy it after knowing what it did for me. Suffice to say, I came to realize this; you cannot change the past, you can change the future, but it all happens in the now and that's when I met the I, the me, the isness of me.


2022 was a year of inner conflict for me. I learned to accept that and my awareness of myself and my surroundings shifted and with each shift, I felt that awareness deep down in my soul. 

There is nothing more important in our lives than the now. Not the past, nor the future is as important. Our past made us who we are. Religion, politics, the stuff teacher taught and warned against, the stuff ma and pa taught and uncles and aunts and siblings and lovers.  These teachings formed our ego, the personality.  I won't tolerate rude behaviour, but that's because I was taught at a young age and throughout my existence that being a rude person is wrong. Rude people don't have that kind of thinking because they have a different ego, a different past. 

Tomorrow's future hasn't happened.

 “The moment you realize you are not present, you are present. Whenever you are able to observe your mind, you are no longer trapped in it. Another factor has come in, something that is not of the mind: the witnessing presence.”

Ego exists also through a pain-body. 

2022 was filled with such a lot of emotional pain for me and everytime I thought things like, oh why oh why did this happen to me, I fed my pain body and it loves negative thoughts.  Thoughts feed our ego and pain body all the time non-stop. 

And that's because we don't take time to stop and smell the roses.

We don't stop to appreciate the moment, the now. 

We don't stop to affirm the now.

We don't stop to acknowledge our surroundings in the now. 

“You attract and manifest whatever corresponds to your inner state.”

During those three weeks in Cape Town I did not put that book down.  I devoured every word. I came to appreciate my flaws.  I got real with myself. Stopped blaming myself for a divorce that was mutual but left me emotionally dark. I came to appreciate my vulnerabilities. Started to experience joy, happiness and self worth. Now I appreciate my inner resistance to certain things like drug abuse, and challenges like writing another book. I am me as I am. I feel me and I see me and although I lost the love of my life, love is omnipresent.  I am forgiveness. I trust. 

I came to understand, through Tolle, that the subconscious mind brings up all beliefs, sub-beliefs, and microbeliefs.  All of them are forms of resistance with negative feelings, wanting, expectations. And there is nothing wrong in that because our consciousness will bring up all our belief structures and allow us to feel it in our bodies emotionally. 

I learnt that as much as I dislike self-doubt because it impedes on my growth into awareness, I also like self-doubt because it helps me trust my self-worth.  That as much as I resist self-doubt because it makes me disrespect myself and others, it also helps me communicate better with people who have the same problems. Self-doubt hinders my ability to create, but it also forces me to go the extra mile while creating. That although self-doubt distances me from everyone and everything around me, I like self-doubt because it makes me re-evaluate things. 

The most important thing I found with doubting myself is that although I close myself off from everything and everyone, self-doubt also brings with it the ability to close previous chapters of my life. 

I learnt that not only does ego dislike suffering, it also produces suffering and we try to hide from the resultant feelings in our pain body, but we shouldn't hide. We should face the pain, let it come, then let it go and don't dwell on it. 

"Go.  Bring yourself into the Now, the present moment, where problems do not exist. It is here that you find your joy. And here that you will embrace your true self. Finally, it is here you discover that you are already complete and perfect." - https://themysticcat.com/online-shop/shop-all/bookshop/books/inspirational-self-empowerment/the-power-of-now-used/

If you've read this entire article, now is the time to breathe.

There you go. Eyes wide open. 

Now Go Get Tolle's Book.


Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Spotlight: Lily Lamb and Anthony Hurd





Lily Lamb and Anthony Hurd


Lily Lamb is  a Turkish author of LGBT horror & romance. She works as a nurse in a busy general hospital during the day where she feeds her soul by caring for others. Ms. Lamb believes her purpose in life is about making a difference in others' lives. At night, she tends to her imaginative alter-egos (Lily Lamb & A. Drew) by writing tales involving love, passion, mystery, and horror.  

Lily Lamb writes emotional journeys.

The kind of books you read to make a bad day go away and to lift your spirits. Ms. Lamb never shies away from difficult subjects. She writes gay characters with sensitivity and affection, whether it be romance, drama, horror or the paranormal, with expert flair. 

Ms. Lamb's work is infused with heart; every word drips with feeling. It's as though she has the feel ingrained to the point where she is able to forget about all the technical stuff; she just writes. Her mind, trained in the feel, does its thing. Ms. Lamb understands the craft, and writing, like any art, IS a craft. She knows the formula: Concept + Characters + Conflict = Novel. It allows her work to live and breathe.

And she is relentless.

Ms. Lamb writes shifter stories that takes your breath away and leaves one wanting more. She is awesomely different. Her stories are original in their concept; she writes on bigotry and the affects of unkind words, but she is always entertaining, absorbing and shocking while being totally realistic. She embarks her stories with interesting details that makes the reader’s heart skip a beat.

This is how she enchants.



 ANTHONY HURD - AN ENIGMA OF MAGNIFICENT PROPORTION. 

Anthony Hurd often was involved in making zines, his own clothing line, selling quick drawings of album covers and whatnot to pay the bills. He played bass in a few hardcore straightedge bands, did music reviews and worked on local skate board graphics. He grew up in Kansas City, Missouri where he desperately wanted to escape. Being the weird closeted gay kid, he buried himself in skateboard and music culture. Those were his biggest influences stylistically, and the range is dramatic at times. It’s given him room to breathe and explore, and pursue artistic endeavors from different angles.

As an adult, he moved to LA in his early 20’s and fell into a career in advertising for what would turn out to be 20, often gruelling years. In those years he worked in the entertainment and ad agency industries and went on to do freelance work.

During that process he started painting again around 30 years old and slowly started to develop a sense of self, and a way to express his experiences with more depth. The loss of his little sister, the end of an 18 year relationship and a series of financial set backs eventually put life into perspective and he decided it was time to dedicate his attention to his art without distractions.

From KCMO, to Los Angeles and Palm Springs, Sedona Arizona, Austin Texas and now Albuquerque New Mexico, he feels like he’s really found a place to set  roots. Now working full time in a local art studio and pushing forward to his hearts content.

His interaction with colour and Abstract Expressionism combined with New Realism and a touch of the Baroque element, lends an ardent and explosive statement on a par with his sharp and often explosive colouring.

Like Ms.Lamb, who understands and feels words, Anthony Hurd feels and understands colour. Each colour is a string, a part of his mind that requires undressing. Colours that acquire a significance beyond a decorative interest and borders on an obsession concerning the mind and the anguish aroused by his own intimate feelings, whether it be the state of the world, or personal relationships. 

Feelings we have all experienced at one time or another. 

His art secures a repair and an intent, by connecting lines and form, whether it be convoluted or maxial. 

Anthony Hurd's ability to extend his art and take people on a journey through his creations filled me with wonder and awe. 
















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